Timeless

Well I will admit that although very little of my circumstances have changed, I do feel as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
After a rather painful day at work on Sunday, I met with the delightful Miss Priss for what was anticipated to be a cup of coffee. I swung by her residence then we headed for the beachfront Gloria Jean's in Coolangatta - although funnily enough, we didn't quite make it inside.
Whilst parking the car we had entered into a meaningful conversation about our thoughts, feelings and theories on the world. There never did seem to be an appropriate moment to step back into the world: the constraints of my vehicle not only provided shelter from the drizzling rain, but it released all inhibitions and for the first time in my life I found my exact thoughts pouring upon listening ears. I did not have difficulty choosing the right words, or fearing that I truly did appear screwed up in the head. I think that's because Miss Priss just accepts me for who I am. I need not conform into the parameters set by society or entertain her with gossip from former classmates; being myself is enough.
I think we must have sat in the car for nearing on 2 hours, but we both agreed that time had stood still. We were the axis of the universe, and the world surrounding us continued to spin (actually, that reminds me of a poem I wrote towards the end of Year 11... One day I may feel able to share it).
It was only in the last moments of our timeless discussion that I finally felt able to reveal the biggest concern that is currently plaguing my days and nights. I told her of my doctors visit, the exchange of words, the ordered tests and the bottom line - what she was looking for. It was not only the first time I had said it out loud but also the first time I had said it to myself. I think I was a little overwhelmed - I wasn't really sure what to think, how to feel.
Miss Priss cried - yeah that made me feel better!
Surprisingly though, I didn't - maybe I'm stronger than I thought I was.
Maybe I don't really care.
Maybe it's just fate - written into the script of life before I even took my first breath, because some things are just meant to be.
So I must have looked like a stunned mullet and Miss Priss couldn't believe that I hadn't told anyone before that moment. I told her I couldn't - not until I knew for sure, because I'm not the little girl who cried wolf. She told me that I shouldn't have to do it alone, and because I'd told her she's in it now for the long haul.
And in concluding that thought, we stepped back into the world and allowed time to restart.