Alter Ego

Well, what an intense few days it has been.
Let me start with Thursday.
My parents and brother went away to the Sunshine Coast (long story - don't ask) and thankfully I was excused from the expedition. So I started the day with a visit to my doctor to discuss the results from the variety of tests I had undergone. To be completely honest I was so scared that my legs were shaking as I waiting for her to confirm my diagnosis. It was almost an anti-climax when she said I didn't have what she was looking for.
Huh?
Seems my blood tests ruled it out but the other tests still showed that something was definitely wrong. Her next attempted diagnosis was laughable, and completely and wholly impossible, which just re-enforced that whatever the hell is happening is something way more serious than I first thought.
Damn. Now I'm scared. So apparently she doesn't have enough qualifications to diagnose me so I left with a referral to a specialist. Fucking hell I wish I never even bothered.
Afterwards I went to work with nothing occurring of great importance. At 6 I flew out the door and high-tailed it up to Pacific Fair where Miss Priss met me. The main purpose of the trip was to find a mask for the work Christmas party on the coming Saturday in which we had themed as 'Masquerade'. Me being me managed to blow $50 on one that I will probably never wear again.
Oh but that's not even the half of it! I spent about a month's pay in a space of 2 hours on 2 new dresses that I really did not need and new jewellery to match. I think it's because I was so preoccupied with my thoughts on the morning's events that I wasn't paying much attention to my bank account. Miss Priss decided to keep me company and stayed the night with me. It was nice to be distracted actually - and of all the people I'm glad it was her.
Friday was an early start, as both Miss Priss and I volunteered our services to the local Federal Coalition candidate. Much of the day was spent walking around the shopping centres in an attempt to prove to the voters the high risk that would be taken in not retaining the Coalition Government.
That night I went to Poodles' Christmas party at her house. I was quite glad to be given the excuse to escape myself for a few hours at least and I went to extra effort to dress in my imported Mollini shoes and new dress. It began to pour just as I arrived so I stumbled up the front path trying not to get wet or break my ankle in my freakishly high shoes.
Yes, and the first person that I ran into on the front veranda was none other than Bloke - the girl who bullied me into a state of deflated self esteem all the way back in primary school. Yes, very awkward.
I found Poodles who was already half drunk and she convinced me that I needed to talk to J who also went to my primary school. Due to his state of intoxication he hugged me like an old friend and dragged me around the back deck introducing me to people that I already knew and really had no desire to ever see again. Then I ran into W, my best friend from primary school. Honestly, I think I was more excited to see her than she was to see me but that may have been due to the minor fact that she was friends with basically everyone else there.
Conversation then managed to weave onto the topic of the following day's Federal Election and me being the passionate Liberal that I am had to loudly and proudly state my stance (It was also amplified by my blood alcohol level). I wouldn't call my response a very positive one - as the crowd started chanting "Kevin 07! Kevin 07!". Yeah, not happy so I sat on the sideline and drank.
Eventually I decided I needed to go home and sleep in preparation for Election Day, so I got out of making pasta bake (?) and drove home. On the way I believe I rang the delightful Mr T but all I recall from the conversation is me spilling the contents of my bag onto the ground, telling him about the cheese spread I was eating and being informed of the designer socks he had bought. Oh - and I was going on about lesbians??? Yeah beats me. I felt guilty about it when I woke up on Saturday though - and really embarrassed as I had no idea what I was dribbling on with.
Bright and early in the morning, I arrived at St Joey's where we were all set up for a day of polling. I was not in a very good mood though so when this arrogant, hippy, ALP lady who gave us Young Liberals a hard time at the last election starting carrying on with the corruption of the Coalition, I had to put a lid on my anger as I was running the risk of getting an assault charge.
At 11.30am I was shafted down the ass-end of the coast to Pottsville - despite my objection. Seems dickhead R.A didn't want to leave Banora Point as "I live here and why should I have to drive out of my way?". Yeah thanks loser, I'll just drive around all day. I just had to convince myself that it was for the good of the party.
I left Pottsville at 2pm and went home to shower and get ready for the masquerade Christmas party that night. A small group of us met as S's house as she was driving us to the party (which was in Brisbane's Fortitude Valley) so we could leave early if it turned out to be a dud.
Turns out the whole night sucked for a string of reasons - before we even got to the party I found out that the Coalition had lost government and the new Prime Minister of Australia is Kevin Rudd. Fuck off. What - are the citizens of Australia complete dumb asses or what???
I figured it was a good idea to drown my sorrows with a few cocktails (after all - they were free!) and of course that boosted my confidence - enough so to pick a fight with some guys wearing Kevin Rudd masks. I was lucky that I didn't get bashed - but I did punch one of the Kevin heads.
We left after about an hour and a half for an interesting trip home, in which there were 6 passengers, the driver was half pissed, on the phone and doing 140 kms in the rain. I think I may be lucky to be alive.
I got home at about 1am which was early, especially since the party was in Brisbane and I had to go straight to bed. I couldn't keep my eyes open.
Woke up prematurely today but got up anyway. Didn't go to church - I don't know why. Then I got this crazy idea that I should get a bit of a tan, so I lay out in the sun, still in my pyjamas, for about half an hour and now I have really retarded sunburn. Yep - I'm an idiot.
Then I feel like I walked around the house aimlessly. I was so bored and I had nothing to do, so I eventually killed enough time until the 3.30pm session of Elizabeth: The Golden Age. OMG - brilliant movie! Cate Blanchett had better get an Oscar for that. She was absolutely amazing.
I couldn't help but get a bit emotionally involved though - I really did feel so sorry for the Queen. It's like she was living this life that she really didn't have the strength to live, in which she could only do what was expected of her, and never what she expected of herself.
A small positive of the day is that I received a very uplifting text message from D:

The sky is a beautiful Liberal colour blue today my fellow Young Libs.
Hold your head high and keep in mind what our cause has achieved for this great nation over the past 11 years. Howard, a true statesman.

So I came home, felt unnervingly lonely, had a few drinks in front of Garden State and now here I am. Honestly, I feel like everything that I have done in the past few days is no reflection of the person that I am. Or perhaps it is now the person I used to be? People always say that it can take certain events to change a person's outlook on life but are my actions an outlook? Maybe I'm just losing the plot, or trying to prove something to myself and the rest of the world?
Oh seriously. I think if I can't sort my own life out, how can I expect anyone else to?