I have become socially unacceptable; I have built a wall between the world and myself. I can't knock it down, even for my closest friends, and every exchange stabs me a little more, because I don't want to be so far away. Every smile I don't return, and every time I turn my back makes me scream inside my head - but the parasitoid controls me. As much as I want to keep them close, they drift further and further away until I fear there will be no-one left willing to fight for me.